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Integrating Sex Toys in Partnered Sex: A Therapist's Guide

If you have a cold sore and you give your partner oral sex, you can infect them with the herpes virus. Even shallow insertion of the penis into the vagina (sometimes called dipping) carries risks for both partners. Jordi Lippe-McGraw is a freelance writer and editor covering travel, parenting, and wellness. She’s traveled to more than 50 countries on all seven continents (including Antarctica while five months pregnant) and equally loves penguins and truffles.

Enter the item you're planning to pack, such as "vibrator," and you'll quickly be able to see if it's permitted and any restrictions that might apply. Right out of its packaging, it may look small— but this stretchy little ball can be pulled over your entire erect penis like a condom. The lining of the stroker features well-spaced bumps and ridges that provide a solid sensation all over your shaft while you masturbate. "One of the most important things to look for when buying a sex toy is its material," says Lehmiller.

This vibrator stimulates both the G-spot and clitoris and has 12 intensity levels. This set of wearable vibrators was made for couples—they are quiet and can be controlled with an app. This popular clitoral pinpoint vibrator has eight powerful settings for ultimate pleasure. If you’d like a shop that caters to women, Cooper, a certified sex therapist, favors smaller, entrepreneur-led and female-owned sites like Unboundbabes. "It has a smaller menu of toys than some of the larger sites so it won’t overwhelm you," she says. Just so you know, HuffPost UK may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them.

If you’re not sure where to start, don’t stress—a great way to narrow your search is to first figure out which categories appeal to you. From there, you can drill down on the specific toys within those categories that have the settings and functions that meet your needs. "Porous materials can be cleaned with soap and water or a toy cleaner. A gentle liquid soap, like you would use for your hands, is a fine choice for most toys," Deysach says. Visit the Planned Parenthood website to learn more about the various types of sex toys. With two buttons and six stimulation modes, the Lelo Tor 2 has a simple design and a flexible fit to help make it comfortable for penises of all sizes.

Your partner may also be able to access an audio interface with each mobile app that allows them to take physical control of your toy while also projecting audio into your partner's space, and vice versa. These capabilities are becoming more commonplace for highly developed sex toys designed for couples living apart. Whether you’re in the mood for internal penetration or external stimulation, this waterproof multitasking toy can do both. It has a vibrating dildo at one end and a rose at the other that simulates tongue-licking. What’s more, it’s totally customizable with nine different settings for vibrating and licking.

Some vibrators are designed more for external clitoral stimulation (like the famous Hitachi Magic Wand), while others are specifically curved to target the G-spot—more on those in the next section. Because the adult industry is more vulnerable to fraud and chargebacks, it’s considered high-risk by banks and payment processing companies. This can make obtaining merchant services a frustrating process, from dealing with unnecessary fees to being denied service altogether. To process credit cards and online transactions so you can be properly compensated for providing your sex toy products, you’ll need to find a payment processor that supports selling adult store products and services.

Many sex toys can become a direct contact clitoral vibrator if you simply apply their vibrating components to the clitoris. However, there are also vibrators such as the Zumio that are designed to go the extra mile to bring you targeted, fast-paced clitoral stimulation through direct contact. We gave the alien-probe-like sex toy an honest review, and really enjoyed how deftly the antenna works to gently tap your clit until orgasm.

While double-ended dildos are typically U- or I-shaped, strapless strap-ons are L-shaped. Usually 12 to 24 inches long, some look like two dildos fused together (like the Lovehoney Ice Gem) and others are U-shaped (like the Ruse double dildo). There’s also a variety of textured details you might experiment with once you’ve confirmed that you enjoy dildo play or penetration. She adds that a standard dildo can be used by hand or worn in a harness to stimulate these spots. Crops tend to deliver a more piercing/stinging sensation, whereas paddles are often referred to as "thuddy." Floggers can be either, depending on the shape and brand.